“Here
is a triple threat against all aspiration to autonomy, a triple abandonment of
my preoccupation with myself. After, but only after I have made this move, I am
in a position to pray rightly for material and spiritual blessings, daily
bread, and forgiveness, for myself and for “us” (Benson and Wirzba 25).
As
a child learning spiritual things in church, yet still leaving and focusing on
the carnal realm, my understanding of prayer and communication was limited to
what I could just feel, sense, and observe within the natural world. My life
revolved around my experiences with no real paradigm that I walked in to help
understand the things that were around me. The structures for my name, my kingdom,
and my will were being done in the name of a God I barely knew, but were
secretly trying to create a security of independence. Right before this
statement, the author mentions that the triple threat in the understanding of
prayer and communication with God is the revelation of ourselves being
de-centered before the Holy One and realizing it is His name, His kingdom, and
His will that is most essential. My life in relation to God did not change or
build much until I had that revelation that just as Jericho’s walls had to be
brought down before God’s people or the kingdom of God could come into the
area. The same was true for my own walls and insecure structures of my name
being lifted high, my kingdom being built for my secure future, and my desires
dominating that needed to be toppled by God’s trumpet sound of His call to the
divine. Finding peace in not controlling my life, I now saw the life that the
divine had for me. I now did not have to worry about food or shelter or
clothing because these things were now entrusted to one greater, where all I
had to do was now seek His kingdom and and the place of abiding with the
divine. My communication became more heart and presence driven with, at times,
no words to talk and less of a needs driven perspective fueled by the next
outside circumstance to dictate the internal dwells of my being. This
phenomenological journey of understanding rushed into my spirit when I went to
the Philipines during the summer. There, most of the people do not have the
American dream of a famous name, the building of a large kingdom, or visions of
success. The ones devoted to God realized that what they had in the spirit was
far greater than any material wealth collected. It reemphasized to me the need
for a right heart before the divine without masks or hypocrisies skewing our
communication. Only then is one in a position to pray in right standing and right
position, to see how the Other sees the things that we desire or need. We
observe and then communicate from a place of de-centeredness and not selfish
intentions because we then are able to receive the material and spiritual
blessings, provisions, and forgiveness desired.
For me personally, when I’m in hiding before the divine, not thinking or
fixated on things to do but present in the moment, that is when we meet, and
through His grace, we become one evermore.
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